Life in Moo Town
Is it better to deceive fools and have one's way than to speak one's mind honestly with them and be rejected out of their inept inability to understand a cogent and truthful argument? Frustration. While I tend to think nowadays that deception is the better option, my moral constraints or perhaps just my plain stubborness, force me to take the path of truth.
Perhaps part of the cause of my depression is not getting accepted at Yale. I think I have some need to prove to myself that I'm not just good or even excellent at something but that I'm the best in the world. I blew one chance when I didn't get a perfect score on the LSAT and another when I didn't get in to the #1 law school. It's one example of the larger problem of dissatisfaction. I can never seem to be satisfied unless I'm positive things are perfect (when I care about the issue) and therefore I can never be happy because I can never be content with the state of affairs with the things that matter to me most.
I had some really intelligent ideas to post earlier but I can no longer recall them. After an abstract, a quiz and 4 hours of meetings with the Attourney General and the ADL I'm beat. I've had 3 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours, I'm crashing now.
What is the ideal balance of independence and subservience? History dictates that those who ignore common wisdom completely and blaze their own trails with no regard for anyone else's opinion usually end in great evil. The same goes for mindless sheep who never stand up for what they believe in. What is the perfect mix of the two approaches? How do you know when your case is solid enough to press it even against the will of all others? And how do you know when to submit to the norms of society? Perhaps the only way to tell is to have some innate leadership ability. I highly doubt this. I suspect that the standard application of utilitarian calculations can settle the question. More on that another time should the moment be auspicious.
Pertinent Observations
Suppose Depression is the natural state based on a true understanding of reality and happiness is a drug induced state of delusion...
Often it is not the strength of a cause's enemies that defeats it; rather it is the lukewarm support of its friends.
In the words of Voltaire, "Vilify, vilify, some of it will always stick!"
I need the kind of rest that can only be truly appreciated from the inside of a pine box.
Sadness is like a void in your chest. It isn't just an emptiness or a hole. It is a vacancy where once there was something and this makes it harder to bear than an emptiness that was never filled to begin with. Sadness is like a stifling beast that tears at the heart with muffled paws, suffocating rather than slashing, but devastating none the less.
It's late...planning a Nova hall reunion...it's still late...should be sleeping...
It's a sad day when romanticism is defeated by neo-classicism.
Ponderings of the Dark and Weary Mind
When hope is gone there is nothing. How can one hold a hope for something better when "better" is meaningless? In a meaningless world where all goals amount to nothing but wind there can be no hope. There is nothing to hope for.
Einstein held that human curiosity is infinite. It has also been supposed that human stupidity is infinite. The latter statement seems false to me. While it appears that curiosity may be limitless, stupidity has some clear bounds and so must be finite. Extreme cases of stupidity tend to result either in death or descent to high public office, and in either case there is a limit to the depths which may be sunk to. In the former case, 6' and in the latter, the presidency.
